Today’s apple polisher…

Do you remember those days when your mother asked you to study hard to ensure that you have a good future? Well all those are the things of the past. In today’s world intelligence might be useful but not as useful as apple polishing.

If schools would like their students to be able to get a good job in the future, be sure that they create a new class called bodek class… at practical exam, get them to polish a man with high pride. If he likes it then give them an A.

Many people in Malaysia benefited from having the polishing skills. Well I’ve seen many myself. Let me tell you one of many that I’ve seen before.

Now there is a lady from a foreign nationality was posted in my office as Finance Director. She had trained well at her polishing skills. If you ask me her job description, my answer is below

1. Feed boss’s favorite dog every morning.
2. At lunch be sure to feed the boss himself. Don’t pack food, cook for him. The best way to get to a man’s heart is through his tummy
3. Chat with the boss whenever possible
4. If anyone does any minor mistake, make it big and tell the boss
5. If you did any mistake, shut up and use your power to make everyone else shut up. Ensure that the news did not reach the boss
6. If required, make a scrape goat out of anybody to take the blame
7. If there is something that you forget to do even though after reminders, act naïve and say no one told you before. If there is a black and white, blame it on IT.
8. Make people’s life miserable. If they have a good life they will have time to plan for your downfall
9. Whatever the boss said just say yes. Don’t worry, its your subordinates that needs to do the job regardless if they like it or not.
10. When boss is complaining about anyone else, try to recall past wrong doings and increase the problem.
11. When an issue arises, don’t find solutions. Find who is at the fault and put him to the boss’s office
12. When boss praise a job well done accept the complement, otherwise say who did it
13. Cut cost. Cut toilet paper, cut water usage, cut electricity cut wages and cut bonuses.
14. Say that you will stay late to complete a certain task but put an idiot to do it after the boss left

Anyway I will write more if I could recall more. Every morning before she does any work, she will ensure that the dog is fed. Then make breakfast for the boss and go back to her room. In the room, continue to look busy at facebook.com. when boss is free, go to his room and talk nonsense

At lunch wait for boss for lunch. If possible cook for him. Never leave the boss’s sight. Do some job for the rest of the day. If there is some dirty job to be done, assign it to someone. If he rejects the task, tell the boss.

Everyone hates her. She knew it but the boss don’t. And my boss dare to tell me that its difficult to polish him and change his mind. My understanding? Its so damn easy

Boys and girls if you need to learn, just learn the basic of school education and practice more on apple polishing. You will gain more from it.

People used to say “Bullshit could take you higher but cant keep you there”. In today’s world, all you need to do is to have continuous bullshit everyday to maintain the momentum and stay high. When things go wrong, bullshit somewhere else. There are companies everywhere